Sexual Fantasy - The Risk of Fantasizing About Sex

March 2, 2010

Sexual Fantasy - The Risk of Fantasizing About Sex

Sexual fantasy is as common as day. Television, movies, and magazines bombard us daily with sexual scenes. These scenes get stuck in people’s memory and eventually result in endless routines of sexual fantasizing.

Is there any risk in sexual fantasy? Is fantasizing about sex okay?

That question is pertinent because many ‘experts’ claim that it’s perfectly okay to fantasize about sex. In their expert opinion, fantasizing about sex merely results in harmless sexual release.

But are these self-acclaimed experts correct? Or is there more to sexual fantasy that meets the eye?

Let me be honest with you.

Fantasizing about sex doesn’t just end with masturbation. It goes way beyond that. Ultimately, it affects your relationship with your mate and your continued chastity.

How can this be? Is this some exaggeration to frighten you?

No, it isn’t.

To understand the risk sexual fantasy poses, let’s examine the range of sexual fantasies people often have.

So I ask the question: what do you fantasize about?

You likely fantasize about . . .

1. A sexual relationship with your boss or your subordinate. She has curves in the right places. She has a burging breast or a surging back side. So you wonder how it would feel like to touch or even . . .

2. A sexual relationship with the girl next door. If only you were not married, she would have been the perfect woman for you. She’s got everything your wife lacks.

3. A sexual relationship with your family’s house maid. If only she was not a house maid! Now, how would you tell your parents you’re in love with your maid?

4. A sexual relationship with your friend’s wife. If only she was not married to your friend she would have been the perfect flirt mate.

5. A sexual relationship with same sex. You’ve read a lot of gay stories. So you wonder how it would be like to actually have a gay relationship. What do gays find exciting about same sex relationships anyway? you wonder.

First, you wonder. Then you get some gay friends just out of curiosity. Then you fantasize with the idea of gay sex. Then you . . .

I cannot begin to list all the weird sexual fantasies people have. There is no limit to the evil twist the be-deviled mind can conjure up.

However, our concern here is not how long the list of sexual fantasies is. It’s the impact it has on your relationship with your mate.

To illustrate, consider Julius’ case.

Julius was a senior manager in a brewery conglomerate . . . one of the biggest in my country. He was an impressive brewer . . . the head brewer . . . and head of department of the brewing team. He was well read and highly educated.

He had everything under control except the relationship with his wife. His wife was a lawyer and they were always in one conflict or another. Eventually, he had to send his wife packing along with his kids.

Soon the real reason for the repeated conflict with his wife started to manifest.

Julius was gay. As if that was not bad enough, he lost control of his sense of decency. Rumors had it that he even had sexual relationships with the company security guards posted to his residence.

This was a real mess because he lived in the company residential quarters, which shared the same boundary with the company premises.

The last time I heard of Julius, he was out of his well-paying job.

Don’t be deceived.

Sexual fantasy is not harmless fun. Okay, it starts as harmless fantasizing. But it doesn’t stop there. It eventually turns passionate and sinister wrecking everything you’ve known and loved.

Consider this.

Suppose you’ve been having this raging sexual fantasy about how sweet your sexy boss will taste in bed. You’ve been noticing her bobs and it just turns you on.

One day you’re working late. Everyone else has left the office except you. Even your boss has left . . . or so you thought.

Late in the evening someone opens your office door. To your surprise, it’s our boss.

She asks how your work is going. You explain the progress you’ve made so far. She expresses her appreciation for how thorough your work is.

You accept the compliment.

Then she sits at the edge of your table and takes off her tops. Stark naked before your eyes is the very thing you’ve spent sleepless nights fantasizing about.

What are your chances of saying a firm “No” and resisting her sexual advances?

Remember . . .

These are the very “things” you’ve been fantasizing about touching!

Your chances of resisting the temptation with success is zero . . . or near zero. You may just find yourself grabbing her offer even before she completes offering it.

I hope you get the point.

Sexual fantasy is deadly. If you want to remain chaste and loyal to your mate, you have to be careful what you meditate on . . . what you fantasize about.

Continued and sustained sexual fantasy about a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex (or of the same sex) destroys your defences. When the opportunity for sexual contact presents itself, you won’t be able to say no.

What happens to your relationship with your mate or fiance/fiancee when you succumb to such sexual temptations?

You destroy your mate’s trust. You destroy your marriage.

Sexual fantasy won’t pay you. Therefore , it is time to stop.

Feed your mind with healthy stuff. Fantasize about your wife. Build your world around her.

It’s the only sure way to marital success and everlasting happiness.

maintaining your virginity as a woman

A virgin girl may not appreciate what she has. Some girls actually loose their virginity because of peer pressure. They give away their virginity just to fit in, just to belong.

Here’s some great news.

Contrary to what your friends say, being a virgin girl is perfectly normal. You’re perfectly normal
as a virgin. You won’t fall ill because you didn’t have sex before twenty one. You won’t even get
sick if you don’t have sex before thirty five.

Another thing.

You don’t have to play along with your friends to do evil in other to feel great about yourself. You don’t have to belong to a certain circle of friends to be important.

You can achieve what you want to achieve and be anything you want to be without having to follow the wrong crowd. Self-esteem is a thing of the mind. If you feel good about yourself no one can put you down.

This is important because many young girls have veered into sexual misconduct simply to please their friends or to be rated as mature by friends.

Some other college girls have been lured to sexual misbehavior because they fear they may get sick if they do not have sex before they are twenty.

This may all sound silly and irrational to you. But ignorance breeds fear.

To compound matters, many parents do not feel comfortable discussing sexual matters with their children. When children ask questions relating to sexuality, many parents skim over the subject or dodge it outright.

That doesn’t help your children.

Since parents often fail to carry out their responsibility to their children, these innocent children turn to their peers for answers. And the answers they get are often distorted and far from the truth.

The result?

Pregnant teens, troubled teens, and reckless teens that become depressed adults. These depressed adults eventually become a nuisance to society.

You young woman reading this, I have this simple advice for you.

Do not join your friends to experiment with sex. It is like walking on red hot coal. Your legs will get burnt.

If you are a virgin girl, maintain your virginity. Your virginity is a source of pride to your parents. And when you get married as a virgin girl, your husband will be extremely proud of you.

Remaining a virgin girl until you marry establishes your marriage on sound footing of trust. Your husband knows he can trust you because you have self-discipline and love of righteousness.

It takes self-discipline, self-control, and love of God to stay morally upright in this decadent generation. When you are able to do that and maintain your virginity straight to marriage you gain self-esteem as a woman of substance.

Besides, you save yourself the trauma your wayward schoolmates experience. You save yourself the pain of teen pregnancy and fatherless baby. And you save yourself the pain of a wasted life.

Your friends are wrong when they say virginity is archaic and dark age morality.

Remaining a virgin girl is a thing of pride. As a virgin you can hold your head high anywhere you go. You have no need of shame.

You have self-confidence, self-esteem, poise and a feeling of fulfillment.

Wouldn’t you rather remain an innocent virgin girl and enjoy such honor than be tossed about because your stomach is bulging with pregnancy for a baby who has no father?

Yeah. I know you will do the right thing.

However, there are certain mistakes that young people your age make that undermine their decision to remain a virgin girl.

Young girls tend to be avid readers of romance stories.

Romance stories tend to create sexual passion and often cause their readers especially women to fantasize about life with Mr. Perfect.

These girls feel the passion in the stories and wish for a life just like that in the stories. The romance in the romance novels results in a buildup of sexual fantasy in many girls. A regular dose of sexual fantasy eventually results in a desire for the real thing.

Then what?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Yes, romance novels make interesting reading. But many teach values that derail youths by creating desires that lead them astray.

Do you really want to remain a virgin girl?

Then stay clear of material that arouse your sexual desires. If you don’t, you will have trouble maintaining your virginity and self-esteem.

Make the right choice. It’s your life.