World Cultures

Animals Have a Deep Capacity for Love

Love will stay ang live forever

sea breeze

quite from rages of the sea

the breeze whisphering lips

the cold air lingering my arm

and the music enchanting to nowhere

cold breeze blows

sea blue flows

heart seems drift 

but the feels like much

as staring you knew that she was

-Wilfredo Bolbes

Arroyo signs anti-child porn bill into law

By Lira Dalangin-Fernandez

Filed Under: Laws, Children, Internet

Philippine president signs Anti-Child Pornography Act of 2009

Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has signed Republic Act 9775 or the Anti-Child Pornography Act of 2009 which seeks to make Filipino children less vulnerable to the illicit trade by imposing stiff penalties on anyone found guilty of any form of involvement in child pornography and enjoining private entities to help in the effort, according to local media Wednesday.

Republic Act 9775, which Arroyo signed on Tuesday, defines child pornography as “any representation, whether visual, audio, or written combination thereof, by electronic, mechanical, digital, optical, magnetic or any other means, or a child engaged or involved in real or simulated explicit sexual activities.”

It provides that a victim of child pornography shall be considered as a victim of a violent crime, and metes out penalties ranging from mayor to reclusion perpetual and a fine of 300,000 to5 million pesos (6438 to 107,296 U.S. dollars).

The new law criminalists hiring, employing, using, persuading, inducing or coercing a child to participate in the production or any form of child pornography; and any form of involvement in creating any form of child pornography.

It also criminalists publishing, offering, transmitting, selling, distributing, broadcasting, advertising, promoting, exporting or importing any form of child pornography; possessing any form of child pornography with the intent of selling, distributing, publishing or broadcasting them; and possessing and willfully accessing any form of child pornography.

The law also specifies the duties and responsibilities of internet service providers, mall owners and operators or lessors of business establishments, and internet content hosts to report any commission of any form of child pornography in their respective areas.

How to Manage Different “Change Personalities”

The only thing certain in this world is change. And whenever something changes, people have a variety of reactions. This may be due to the nature of the change or the different personality types involved. But regardless of the reason, managers who want to implement change must effectively respond to the different reactions of employees.

Four common “change personalities” are described below, with suggestions for managing each one.

 
1. Supporters

Who are they? Supporters embrace the change and move quickly to implement it. They see the benefits of changing and are optimistic about anticipated results. They enjoy talking about and planning for the change.

How do you manage them? Enlist your Supporters in the change effort. Express appreciation for their support, listen to their ideas, and give them a role to play in implementing the change. Often Supporters can help communicate the change to other employees and help to alleviate their concerns.

What should you NOT do? (1) Take your Supporters for granted and fail to involve them. (2) Publicly compare them to less cooperative employees, thereby causing others to resent them.

2. Worriers

Who are they? Worriers are uneasy and uncertain about the change. They may fear being negatively affected, or they may just be uncomfortable with change in general. They do not actively support or resist, but are easily influenced by the last person they talked to.

What should you NOT do? (1) Overlook their concerns and fail to communicate. (2) Allow them to be “recruited” by the Militants.

3. Resisters

What should you NOT do? (1) Ignore them and assume that they will eventually “get over it”. (2) Allow them to continue doing it the old way.

4. Militants

What should you NOT do? (1) Wait too long to discuss concerns and stop their troublemaking. (2) Give them the opportunity to “recruit” Worriers and Resisters.

How to Help People Accept Change

If you want someone to accept change, you must first understand why they may resist.  By anticipating their likely reaction to your plan or proposal, you can make intelligent decisions about how to introduce the change.  There are four things to understand: (1) emotions are inevitable, (2) change equals loss, (3) acceptance requires planning, and (4) certain factors increase resistance.

1. change is an emotional experience

One of the most fundamental facts about change is that all change is an emotional experience.  Think about a recent change at home or at work.  How did you feel in that situation?  Worried, depressed, sad, angry, stressed out?  Or excited, happy, motivated, energized, and optimistic?  Maybe your feelings were both positive and negative.  But the odds are that you felt something.  If you remember the change, it’s probably because there was an emotion attached to it.           

Understanding normal emotional responses to change can help you anticipate reactions.  The initial response to change is often negative.  People seem to automatically scan a new situation for anything that is not to their benefit.  Then they complain about it.  This negative focus often blocks their awareness of positive aspects. 

On the other hand, some changes are eagerly anticipated and welcomed.  However, these too are frequently followed by a period of disappointment and regret – for example, the well-known phenomenon of “buyer’s remorse” upon purchasing a home.  In these situations, the initial optimism and excitement prevent the person from seeing a complete picture, resulting in unanticipated disappointments later on.  The bottom line is that you should always expect a negative reaction to any change.  If you don’t get one, just be happy. 

2. change always means loss

The main reason for negative reactions to change is that people always lose something.  You may gain as well, but a loss is always involved.  When you get promoted, you gain a better title, higher pay, and more recognition – but you lose your the feeling of comfort and competence from your previous job.  When you get married, you gain a loving life partner (hopefully), but you take a hit in the areas of freedom and autonomy.  And when you have a child, you gain one of life’s greatest blessings, but you definitely lose money, time, and sleep.  At work, the losses that come with change typically fall into one of four areas: 

• Safety & Security: You don’t feel as certain that you will continue to be employed.

• Relationships:  You lose contact with people who matter to you or the nature of the relationship changes.        

• Competence:  You feel less certain of your ability to perform your duties or produce results.

• Mission & Purpose:  Your work used to be part of your reason for being, but it no longer feels that way.

3. acceptance requires planning

If you want people to accept change, you need to invest time in planning and communication.  All too often, managers and colleagues (or parents and spouses, for that matter) just throw a change out there and expect others to say, “Well, that’s just dandy.”  These people are living in a fantasy world.  To get others to accept change, the first step is to understand what, from their perspective, they feel that they are losing.  If you can first empathize with their feelings, then begin to compensate for their loss, you have taken a giant first step towards acceptance. 

Here’s how to manage the four critical acceptance factors:

¨    Caring:  People need to feel that those who have power care about their concerns and will listen to them.  Listening to people’s reactions is just as important as explaining the reasons for a change.  Managers often forget this.

¨    Control:  People are more likely to accept change if they have some input into how it will be implemented.  Ask for opinions or suggestions about any aspect where input may actually be used.  Never ask for input that you don’t plan to consider.  That will only make things worse.

¨    Choice:  Where possible, give people options.   The more choices people have, the more they feel in control.  Some of the energy that previously went into complaining will then be diverted to decision-making.

¨    Competence:  People are more likely to adapt when they feel that they have the skills, knowledge, and abilities to succeed.  The faster you can help them move through the learning curve, the faster they will accept the change.  Keep in mind that “learning” can include people, places, and cultures as well as skills and tasks.

So before you begin to implement your change, take time to develop a change plan that incorporates those four features.

4. factors that increase resistance

Finally, you should also be aware of circumstances that tend to make resistance worse:

• Important expectations about the future are not going to be met.

• Management is not trusted.

• People don’t understand the reasons for the change.

• The effect of the change is personal (pay, benefits, job responsibilities, title, office space, etc.).

• Some people feel they are affected more adversely than others.

• There is a long period of uncertainty about what is going to happen.

• Many changes are occurring at the same time.

• Change has been ongoing, with little let-up.

When any of these factors are present, you should be even more diligent about planning and communication.

How to accept rejections-Love and Reasoning

By Christina Sponias

 If you believe that you should be the type who does everything to try and make the person who doesn’t want you love you, or that you should force him or her to belong to you, you better change your mind, for many reasons.

1. Rejection is not pleasant at all; everyone knows that. However, when your love is not reciprocated by the person you love, you have to have the dignity to accept this fact.

2. Step 2

   If you believe that you should be the type who does everything to try and make the person who doesn’t want you love you, or that you should force him or her to belong to you, you better change your mind, for many reasons:

3. Step 3

   The person you love may feel disgusted with your attitude and never want to have any kind of relationship with you.

4. Step 4

   You don’t have the right to force someone. You must respect the other person’s decision. If they don’t want you, your insistence is an attempt to violate their freedom.

5. Step 5

   If someone rejects you, he or she was unable to evaluate your qualities. If you want to be desired, you must give space and freedom to the person you love. If you suffocate them, you will cause a result that is the opposite of what you want—they will want to get rid of you no matter what, because you will be considered a parasite that doesn’t leave them alone.

6. Step 6

   The person you love may be loved by many others or may love someone else. Who are you to insist? If you are rejected, accept this fact thinking that it was better for you because this was not the right person for you. If he or she were the right person, the person would recognize you and would not hurt you so much.

7. Step 7

   Even if you manage to possess this person, if they don’t really want you, some day you’ll have a very sad shock and this will be the worst thing of your life: it will destroy everything. Then you’ll say that you were betrayed…. However, the truth is that you didn’t accept reality and you tried to force someone to love you, but their heart could not obey your orders.

8. Step 8

   This is a very big world, full of many people. Do you know how many men or women exist who are much better than the one that you love? There are many.

   You may believe they are too special and unique, but this is because you have not yet met the ideal person for you.

   Your perfect match will never reject you.

9. Step 9

   Look for the right person and forget those who don’t belong to you and never will.

How to Say I Love You

Although many people use this powerful phrase loosely, there are times when you want to say “I love you” in a meaningful way. Whether you’re professing your love to a romantic partner or expressing it to a relative or friend, it can be difficult to convey how much they really mean to you. But by keeping the following suggestions in mind, hopefully your love will not only be understood, but it will also be welcomed and returned.

1. Define love The sincerity of the phrase is strengthened by knowing what love is, and what loving someone means to you. Determine the difference between love, infatuation and lust, and make sure it’s genuine love that you feel for this person.
2. Make it special. For many people, dropping the “I” allows the sentiment to be expressed casually, such as before separating (e.g. “Time to go. Bye!”). Using the full phrase, however, can be reserved for more intimate moments, especially during a special event, such as when a child is just born, or even to reassure someone when bad news has been received or during moments of cherished silence, like after a kiss.

3. 

   Make eye contact. If you love this person, hopefully you feel comfortable enough to gaze into their eyes when you express your feelings. Making eye contact shows sincerity and communicates trust. Even though there are probably a few inches between your faces, it should feel like there is nothing between yourselves, not even air. The amount you can say “I love you” with your eyes is astonishing.

4. Say it at an appropriate tone. If you’re at home and there’s not much background noise, keep your volume low; don’t whisper unless you bring your lips to their ear, which can also be a very intimate way to express your love. If you want to tell them how you feel in public, it’s up to you whether you want to pull the person aside, or say it in front of friends or even strangers. It depends on your loved one’s personality, and your own personality. Some will find it terribly romantic to be told they’re loved across a room full of people; others may find it mortifying.
5. Smile. It can be nerve-wracking to tell someone that you love him or her, only to wait anxiously for their response–especially if it’s the first time either of you have verbally expressed love. The best way to overcome this fear is to not expect the phrase in return. Your intention can be to tell the person how you feel, with the hope of making them happy and showing them that they are valued. Remember that unconditional love means not demanding anything in return. So smile, and perhaps give your loved one a hug. If they love you, too, they’ll say it in their own way and in their own time.

6. 

   Be creative. Say it in different languages. Write it into a poem or even a haiku. If you want to be romantic, spell it out with rose petals on his or her bedroom floor. Write it in code, like a Vigènere cipher. Say it in little ways, like post-it notes in unexpected places, and express it in every way you can. Do something personal like make her a clipgenerator clip or photoshop a pic from your last vacation.

7. Know what love is. This idea of love being a feeling is just wrong. Infatuation is a feeling. The idea of love being a feeling comes from people who say they love others, but suddenly don’t when the going gets tough. After all, if it’s a feeling, it’s not their fault. Love is an action and a commitment. When you tell someone “I love you”, what you’re actually saying is “I care about you and your well-being, more than my own. I want you to be happy, regardless of what it means for me , and I am willing to make sacrifices for that goal. No sacrifice is too great.”
8. Love. Don’t just say it, do it. Saying “I love you” without showing it is, in a way, a lie. Express your love in action as well as in words. Contrary to popular belief, love can be measured. It is measured in sacrifice.

TIPS

• Holding someone’s hand as you tell them you love them can also communicate sincerity and trust, but it can also convey a sense of subterfuge, which at a glance may suffice but will quickly be sniffed out by someone with a careful eye for lies; ergo, do not hold hands if you don’t mean it.
• Love is expressed differently by everyone. Be understanding and look for your partner’s ways of expressing it to you; they may not be the same as what you do or what you want them to do, but in turn you may not be doing the things they want and they should look for your way.
• If your interest is not in the other person, but rather in how that person can enhance your experience of life, then it is not love. If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, rather than not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them.

WARNINGS

• If love is unrequited, you need to be understanding and be caring towards the feelings of the object of your desire. At least they now know how you feel. It is not good to bottle up your feelings.
• Saying “I love you” in the heat of passion for the first time might not be a good idea, as the person may question the sincerity of your pledge. Follow them up with actions of kindness.
• The words “I love you” can lose their meaning in a relationship if not paired with action.
• And DO NOT say it too much in a day. The one thing people can get annoyed with is hearing I Love You all the time. It can lose its meaning by saying it too much. Some one says I love you and if it makes you think of how much they really do, then thats good and healthy. If its like a casual thing learn to spice it up and/or be patient, maybe back off until your partner says I love you, don’t push and don’t say I love all the time.
• If you have just had a fight or disagreement - Don’t say But I Love You. That does not make things all better. Discuss the issue calmly. Don’t blame your love for someone as the reason you are angry. That makes no sense. Seek help to find out where your insecurities are coming from.

Is Love a Decision or an Emotion ???

Emotion
 Love is an emotion.  It is an uncontrollable emotion. So many times
you fall in love with a person knowing that maybe they aren’t the one for you
but yet you still can’t run from the feeling in your heart. If love was a
decision, then you would be free to walk away… but since it’s an emotion,
you just can’t walk away from your heart that easily.

You can’t pick and choose who you fall in love with, no matter what
people think. You may try hard not to fall in love with someone, for
whatever reason, but if that person is emotionally/physically attractive
to you…there’s nothing you can do. Fate takes over. But it is also
a special something that connects two people in a unique way.

It may require decisions along the way, but it’s something that
comes from the bottom of your heart and you can’t change it for the world.
And when you’re in love, there’s not a thing you can do to stop it. You can
never decide to fall out of love, even when you want to, or think you want
to!

If you really love someone and that person breaks off the relationship,
you will have a difficult time dealing with it. Your mind won’t be
able to get over the emotion. You might say that you no longer love that
person but your heart will go on loving that person just the same. You may
not be able to ever go back to the relationship with the one who hurt you, but
there will always be fond memories of the one you loved.

To love someone because of money,
or physical attraction is not true love. True love can ride out
the storms of life and is willing to make sacrifices.

Decision
To love is to accept, to understand, to maturely will to be
together unconditionally/to share… Infatuation, romance, sexual highs,
crushes, good impressions, and the like are the emotions that humans
confuse with love!

Love, true love, is essentially a decision. It is a commitment to
another that must be mentally made. However, love also causes emotions
that can make your heart, mind, body & soul soar above the clouds. Love
can be emotion but is empty without the commitment.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
 The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid
and deeds left undone.
Dun regret only when you lose what you treasure…….